Sex Talk

So heads up, gonna talk about sex (and rape) in this post. If you don't want to read about those, turn back now.

The idea that sex is bad is something that permeates our culture so thoroughly that it's difficult to even see it as a cultural idea. However, it's not hard to find examples of cultures that were/are more permissive. Many went so far as to promote it as an important part of human life, and not just as a means to procreate.

However, sex is far from a riskless behavior. So what are some legitimate reasons to avoid sex? Unwanted pregnancy is an obvious one. In general, contraceptives are highly effective, but not perfect, and unexpected pregnancies do happen. The second obvious problem is STDs. Again, contraception can go a long way to prevent transmission, but there's always some risk. There's also the danger of physical harm when sex is done improperly or forcefully, especially in the case of anal sex.

So if sex is so risky, aren't we justified in tabooing it? Well, first of all, it's not that risky. Even though bad things can happen, the vast majority of (consensual) sexual encounters are completely harmless. Furthermore, there are plenty of benefits to having sex, both in the short term and the long term. And it's not hard to think up other risky behaviors that receive comparatively little scrutiny.

And yet it becomes a historical controversy when a woman's nipple is exposed for a few seconds. It's considered inappropriate because it reminds us of sex, and sex is bad. And if you think nipples are scary, let me tell you, they have nothing on penises. Nudity is completely harmless, yet society is outright frightened of it.

A little while ago, an idea struck me. It occurred to me that people might be sensitive to sex and nudity because, well, people are sensitive to sex and nudity. That is to say, people get nervous about sex because they live in a culture that tells them (implicitly and explicitly) to be nervous about sex, and that nervousness they feel tells other people to be nervous, and so on.

Sexual assault is, of course, highly traumatizing, but I can't help but feel that it's made even more traumatizing by this attitude. Rape should absolutely be taken seriously, but could it be that taking it too seriously actually makes it harder for survivors to move past it? Even the term survivor, while probably better than victim, puts rape on a level comparable to death. For survivors, it may feel that way, but how much of that feeling is a result of the culture we live in?